What if Snowkit wasn't deaf?
Kits I crouched beside the nursery wall. Every muscle in my body was tense; the slightest movement was all I needed to trigger my pounce. “...and Tawnykit was pretty scared, Mother.” Bramblekit was crowing. They were talking outside and had been doing so for what felt like forever. “In your wildest dreams!” came the hissed reply. Same old Tawnykit, I thought happily. After what seemed to be a hundred moons, the littermates and their mother padded closer. And closer... “Gotcha!” I shrieked, bowling Bramblekit over. He was knocked off his paws instantly; I was much bigger than him. “It’s not funny!” he protested through a mouthful of dust. Not wanting to hurt my friend, I let Bramblekit back up again. His sister was standing a little way from us, purring. I didn’t even have to look at Goldenflower to know the disapproval flaring up in her eyes. “That wasn’t what a true warrior would do, Snowkit.” My mother, Speckletail, snapped. I rolled my eyes. Queens can never have any fun, can they? Anyway, Speckletail couldn’t care less about Bramblekit because of his daddy. That wasn’t fair, because Bramblekit wasn’t his daddy. But she was still giving me a hard time for knocking him over. Same old Speckletail, then. But she was partly right. I shouldn’t have attacked Bramblekit with so little warning. If Fireheart had seen, he’d never choose me as his deputy when I was big enough. Being leader was definitely something on my “to-do” list. Of course, I wasn’t about to go around killing cats just to be leader. If I was going to lead, it would be through my skill. Just like Fireheart. Obviously, Bluestar was our leader, but she wasn’t a good fighter like Fireheart. Fireheart was the coolest deputy in the world. Every cat knew that, except from maybe Bramblekit’s daddy. But Bramblekit’s daddy was the equivalent of a badger killed at the time of Lionclan that had been rolled in fox dung and left to rot ever since. Bluestar had said so several times. “Sorry, Mother. Can I still be an apprentice?” I blinked my eyes slowly, just the trick I’d seen Fernpaw use whenever she wanted something. It seemed to work. “Of course you can, Snowkit. You’re a strong, healthy little kit.” Cinderpelt exclaimed, bustling into the nursery. “You smell of water mint. It never hurt any cat to wash their fur.” I announced. Cinderpelt purred loudly, even though no cat had told a joke. She was weird like that sometimes. “It’s not nice to tell a she-cat she smells funny. How will Tawnykit ever fall in love with you if you can’t learn how to...” Bramblekit began, but I cut him off quickly. Even if it was a joke, it wasn’t funny. Tawnykit was quite pretty, but her tongue was sharper than her claws- and that was saying something. Any cat who has played scratch wars with her will understand. Cinderpelt, still purring, pushed a few herbs towards me. I stared at them. They didn’t look nice at all. “I’m not sick.” I pushed them away, and went to play Clans with Bramblekit. But Cinderpelt, as ever, would not let me get away. “I didn’t say you were sick. These herbs will make your throat a bit itchy, but they’ll stop your scratches from getting infected.” She mewed. Sighing, I swallowed a tiny bite. It didn’t taste so bad. I took another bite. To be honest, it was no different to water mint. “Hey, Snowkit.” Brackenfur padded into the nursery. I leapt to my paws. “Brackenfur!” I exclaimed, bounding up to the golden warrior. Except from Fireheart, he was the most skilled warrior in the clan and would hopefully be my mentor “Well, Fireheart and I were talking. It’s almost time you were an apprentice and I’d be more than happy to be your mentor. Of course, it’s up to Fireheart, but I’d just like you to know that.” He mewed quietly. I yowled in delight. “I’m going to be the best.... FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEHHHEAAAARRRTTTTTTT!” I yowled. I supposed going to say that I was going to be the best warrior ever, but my concentration was never exactly great, and Fireheart doesn’t walk into the nursery often. “Well, I’m glad to see someone is happy to see me.” The ginger warrior blinked. Speckletail cuffed me gently. “Show some respect!” she hissed. Goldenflower glared at her. “It’s okay, Speckletail. I was just going to say that it’s almost time for Snowkit’s apprentice ceremony.” He explained. I felt a surge of happiness rising up in my chest. I wanted to sing like a bird and soar like an eagle. I was almost an apprentice! “What about Bramblekit and Tawnykit? They’re about the same age.” Goldenflower hissed. Fireheart looked anxious. “I’m not sure if they’re ready yet.” He mewed. I could sense that this pleased Speckletail yet angered Goldenflower. It’s funny how cats react differently to different situations. “Why not? Does having Tigerstar’s blood make them less skilled? They have as much of my blood in them as they have of Tigerstar’s. Do you hate them for having my blood? Do you?” she challenged. I was suddenly glad that I wouldn’t be facing her in battle any time soon. “No, of course not. I was only worried...” “Worried that my kits were going to hurt Sandstorm? Those kits are going to be apprentices as soon as possible, and I will personally arrange to take them to Shadowclan if you don’t agree!” she snarled. Fireheart looked confused. Eager, I waited for him to attack or breath fire or do one of those things that Fireheart was somehow capable of. “Very well.” He dipped his head and walked out of the nursery. I have often wondered why he didn’t fly away instead of going by foot. Stolen Life (A/N BTW- this story is uncanon and a fanfiction and all that. That's why Fireheart gets to mentor TWO apprentices and some other stuff. Forgot to mention :P) "Where do you get all your ideas for games, Snowkit?" Bramblekit panted. We were playing last cat standing, which was a game that I made up with Tawnykit. The aim of the game was to get everyone else on their backs for twenty heartbeats. As usual, I was winning. "From me, mostly." Tawnykit boasted. "Well, you're losing." I replied quickly. She opened her mouth to say something cutting, but she never got the chance. Goldenflower was shrieking at her kits to get away from the middle of the camp. I could hear Speckletail snapping at me to do the same thing. Confused, I padded over to her. "Faster!" She screeched. I raced to her side, and looked to see what had happened. A hauntingly huge bird with talons the size of Tawnykit was hovering above the camp. I saw it's huge amber eyes, were greedy as it scanned the cats below. I checked to see that no cats were exposed, and my heart froze. Ashpaw was mewing something to Fernpaw in the middle of the camp, relaxed and oblivious to the bird's flight. It swooped, narrowly missing Fernpaw, who dodged quickly. My half-brother looked around, but it was too late. Huge talons fastened round his neck. The dark gray apprentice struggled, but the hawk was stronger. Ashpaw was going to die. "No!" I yowled, racing to his aid. Speckletail wailed and tried to stop me, but I dodged her and was just in time to latch onto the hawk's talon. It shrieked and tried to shake me off, but I held tightly. There was no way that the bird could take both of us. We were too heavy. I sank my teeth into the bird's pelt. This time, it shook me off easily, but Ashpaw was able to escape too. Speckletail and Brindleface were suddenly there, fighting the bird off. I was too dizzy to help. My eyes fluttered closed and light transformed into darkness. A final breath "...the blood is coming too quickly. I'm sorry." the first words I heard were undoubtedly Cinderpelt's. My eyes snapped open in alarm. Was I going to die already? "No! No!" it was a queen's voice. I tried to tell her that it was okay, but my mouth was dry. I was aching all over. "I'm sorry, Fernpaw. He was so strong. It's lucky that Snowkit attacked the bird, but I know that Ashpaw wouldn't have gone down without a fight." the medicine cat mewed sadly. I breathed a sigh that was half relieved, half grieving. Ashpaw was the dying cat, not me. "He didn't even get his warrior name!" Fernpaw was wailing. "He's not dead yet. He can still get a warrior name." Speckletail mewed, padding into the nursery. "She's right. Ashpaw deserves a warrior name after such a painful ending. This ceremony is normally for leaders, but Bluestar is in no state to do it. I, Cinderpelt of Thunderclan, ask my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has learned the warrior code and given up his life in the service of his Clan. Let Starclan receive him as a warrior. Ashpaw will be known as Ashflight." Cinderpelt mewed quickly. There was a silence. "So much pain!" Ashflight wailed suddenly, thrashing violently. I could see the marks from where the hawk had gripped him. They were deep. "Goodbye." I whispered. The new warrior closed his eyes. The thrashing had stopped. His eyes never opened. A proud rise “Snowpaw! Bramblepaw! Tawnypaw!” the clan chanted. Brackenfur touched noses with me, but I was only half concentrating on him. I was too envious of Bramblepaw to pay attention to Brackenfur. The lucky thing! He was going to be educated by the strongest warrior in the history of all warriors! "Did I mention how brave you were, trying to save Ashpaw? His body will rest under Starclan, thanks to you." Whitestorm mewed to me suddenly. "You saved my kit from a fate unimaginable. He hunts among the stars now." Brindeface added, her eyes glimmering with gratitude. "Thankyou, Snowpaw. You were brave." Fernpaw mewed simply. "Snowpaw! Snowpaw!" Brindleface and Frostfur began to chant. Soon, the whole clan were yowling, chanting my name. I had never been happier. The clan were chanting! For me! I was a hero! I could see a few apprentices looking enviously in my direction, but most cats shot me looks of admiration. My heart glowed as I padded from the clearing. “You’ll be Tawnystar before you know it!” I heard Sandstorm mewing as she touched noses with Tawnypaw. She sounded nervous. “I don’t want to be any kind of leader unless it’s through my own skill.” Came Tawnypaw’s hissed reply. I could hear Bramblepaw at my right, saying something similar. I really felt for them. Speckletail was a grumpy old badger at times, and that was bad enough. Being the kits of a ruthless killer must have been even worse. “So... would you like a tour of the forest?” Brackenfur mewed nervously. “Yeah!” I tried to sound eager, but I couldn’t help but notice that Fireheart and Bramblepaw were already ahead of us and discussing battle techniques as they padded towards the apprentice's den. I wished with all my heart that I’d been given a better mentor. I wasn't jealous or angry or anything. Just disappointed. I had wanted Brackenfur as a mentor earlier, but now I knew that Fireheart could have mentored me... the disappointment was bitter. It could have been worse, though. "That can wait, Brackenfur. The apprentices should go and greet their denmates now." Sandstorm mewed. The golden tom nodded slowly. "Go on. I'll take you out later." Needing no more encouragement, I raced to greet Bramblepaw. He was already at the entrance of the apprentice's den. "You lucky thing! I wish I had your mentor. Congratulations, by the way." I mewed. "Thanks, but I can tell that Fireheart doesn't trust me." he replied. Pain shone in his amber eyes. I was tempted to tell him that it wasn't true, but that wouldn't do any good. We both kew plain well that it was the truth. "Well, all you have to do is prove yourself and it will be okay. Won't it?" I mewed. "I guess." he muttered, and we padded into the apprentice's den together. The Apprentice den There were a few cats already there, making me feel a little more relaxed. I recognised Brightpaw, who was teasing a black and white tom I knew as Swiftpaw. I had never liked him much. Even now, he was ignoring Brightpaw and hissing at the ex-kittypet that Fireheart had brought to the clan. Even so, company always made me feel at home. "It's the new apprentices!" the ex-kittypet yowled when he saw us, his eyes full of excitement. "Yes, Cloudpaw. We already scented them. Your kittypet pampering might make you fat, but it won't improve your skills. I guess you never had any skills, kitty..." "Shut up, Swiftpaw. He used to be a kittypet, but he belongs with Thunderclan now." the ginger-and-white apprentice hissed. "Yeah, he belongs with the Thunderclan fresh-kill pile! Just like that little murderer's son over there. Hey there, Tigerstar-clone! Who d'ya kill today?" Swiftpaw mewed with a falsley cheerful voice. Bramblepaw tensed. "I'm not Tigerstar. I'm Bramblepaw." he hissed. "Same difference." "You can go in roll in fox dung if you like, but leave my brother alone!" Tawnypaw yowled, racing into the den. Her green eyes were blazing brighter than stars. I wished that some cat would stick up for me ''like that. I was the only kit in the litter and it hurt to see everyone else growing up happily with their siblings. "Where were you?" I mewed. "I was on a patrol with Thornpaw and Fernpaw. Aww, weren't you invited? Too bad." she teased, mock-pouncing. I stepped to the side and tripped her as she landed. "Invitation or no invitation, I'll still rip your fur off one day!" I replied affectionately. "Not unless I kill you first!" Bramblepaw tried to sound playful, and it was clear to me and Tawnypaw that he was joking, but his tone was dark and unhappy. The Tigerstar comment had really upset him. "Oh, Starclan." Fireheart breathed from outside the den entrance. My blood turned to ice. Fireheart had heard Bramblepaw's comment. He believed that Bramblepaw had been serious. Fireheart did not trust Bramblepaw one bit. Learning "Keep your tail low!" Brackenfur murmured. I could sense his frustration. It was my first training session, and I had already proved to be a hopeless hunter. My fighting skills were better than most, but my hunting was appalling. I had not managed to catch one mouse the whole day, let alone a squirrel or a rabbit. "It ''is ''low!" I protested. "Concentrate on catching prey. Don't think about anything else." he mewed. I tried to think only of the mouse before me, but immediately my mind flooded with other thoughts. I couldn't believe that Bramblepaw was condemmed because of his father. I mean, of course Tigerstar was evil. But Bramblepaw had barely even met his father. "You missed it!" my mentor groaned. I realized that I had been distracted again. "Sorry." "That's as much as I can do. I'm going to have to talk to Sandstorm about this." Brackenfur mewed. I followed him to the Apprentice Oaks (as I soon nicknamed the place; my memory wasn't good and I had no space in my mind for remembering names of places) where Tawnypaw was learning to climb. "Lift that hind leg a little higher." the pale ginger she-cat was calling. Tawnypaw shifted her right hind leg, giving her enough power to reach the top branch of one of the oaks. She leapt down again with such agility that I almost mistook her for a squirrel. Not that I'd tell her that, of course. "Pathetic tree-climbing, owlbrain." I teased. She glared at me. "Oh, hello, Brackenfur... and Snowpaw, too. What brings you here?" Sandstorm exclaimed when she noticed us. "Sandstorm, I'm sorry to disturb you, but my apprentice is unable to hunt. Now that something's stealing Thunderclan food, it's essential that he learns. Can you help him?" my mentor mewed. "Oh, okay. Try and catch that squirrel." she mewed. I noticed the bushy-tailed creature that she was referring to. Suddenly, nothing mattered but catching the squirrel. If Tawnypaw saw my inability to hunt, I'd be unable to show my face in the apprentices den ever again. I crouched as low as I could, keeping my tail flat. I felt Tawnypaw's eyes burning into me as I pounced, pinning the squirrel to the ground. "There's no problem there!" Sandstorm exclaimed. "But... but..." Brackenfur spluttered. "What's with the surprise, Brackenfur? Haven't you seen me catch a squirrel before?" I teased, pretending to be confused. Brackenfur rolled his eyes. "That was pathetic, puff-ball." Tawnypaw breathed in my ear, but her eyes were glowing with affection, "I heard that." Sandstorm snapped, but when she saw the look in Tawnypaw's eyes, she purred too. The bitter bully I crouched outside the apprentice's den. Every muscle in my body was tense; a bad insult was all I needed to trigger my pounce. Swiftpaw was talking to Cloudpaw and Bramblepaw, and his words made it hard for me to leave the black-and-white tom unharmed. "Your blood is so filthy, worms probably long to bathe in it. I know that I do. That goes for both of you." Swiftpaw was hissing. "So... you're a worm?" Cloudpaw tried to make sense of the older apprentice's speech. "I didn't know that you were blind. It's no surprise. You're so fat, your fur must smother your eyes." Swiftpaw replied coolly. "He's not fat." Bramblepaw mewed simply. "Compared to you he isn't, anyway. You're particularly huge today. I guess you drank too much blood this morning. You'd better be careful about your cat-flesh intake, or you'll become so fat that Cinderpelt will think you're expecting kits and move you to the..." that was enough to make me attack. Yowling, I raced into the nursery and bowled Swiftpaw over. "Don't you dare insult my friends, crowfood!" I snarled. Swiftpaw struggled but I kept him pinned. "One day, I'm going to be leader. And I'll eradicate any filth like you, Bramblepaw! Snowpaw, you were brave to save Ashpaw's body. Every cat is talking about it. You could even have decent friends if you ditched your mate and your chum over there." he hissed, indicating to Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw. "Dream on." I replied coolly. "Don't even think for a second that you'll ever be leader, Bramblepaw! I see you and your father in everything bad. Whenever I see death... or blood... or misery... you come to mind. One day, I'll kill your father. Kill me now, Snowpaw. Starclan will welcome me gladly." he closed his eyes. "I'm not going to kill any cat of my clan." I let him to his feet. After a long silence, Fernpaw burst into the den, dragging a rabbit with her. Dustpelt poked his head round the den's entrance, his eyes full of affection. "You'd better share that rabbit!" he called. "Why should I? I'm so hungry, I'd eat crowfood!" she replied humourously. "Windclan is taking our prey. Fireheart's gone to talk to them, although Bluestar wants to attack them. There's so little food, so stuffing yourself on that wouldn't be a warrior-like thing to do in these times. And you're nearly a warrior." he explained. Reluctant, Fernpaw pushed a leg of rabbit to me. I bit into it gratefully. I had not noticed my burning hunger until now, and it felt good to eat. "By the way, I hope this doesn't upset you but..." Cloudpaw piped up suddenly. "But what?" "Bluestar's going to make me a warrior!" Envy growing "Cloudtail! Cloudtail!" the Clan chanted. I joined in loudly. Cloudtail's round blue eyes were full of pride as he lifted his head high. "Kittypet! Kittypet!" Swiftpaw, Longtail and Darkstripe all joined in quietly. I glared at the rude apprentice who had emotionally hurt Bramblepaw so much. "Can I just say... most of you know that I was born a kittypet. I'm not faultless and I know that. But I swear to Starclan that I will try my hardest to serve Thunderclan as best I can. Many of you must think that Fireheart made a mistake in bringing me here, but every morning when I awake to the pride in serving my Clan, every time I feel prey in my claws and freedom in my heart... I am glad that he made that mistake." Cloudtail spoke suddenly. There was a stunned silence. None of us were used to hearing something so serious from the carefree white tom. It was hard to believe that this was really the blundering apprentice that spent half of his time figuring out insults, and the other half of his time trying to think of comebacks. "Thankyou for that, Cloudtail." Fireheart mewed, shooting a regretful glance at the group of older apprentices that should have been there with him. I was shocked to see that Brightpaw wasn't congratulating him. Swiftpaw, Thornpaw and Fernpaw were staring in dismay at the snowy white tom. Brightpaw's eyes were full of shock. "Come on." Tawnypaw led me back the the apprentices den, where Bramblepaw already sat. The other apprentices followed us, still muttering between themselves. "I can't believe it! We're going to have to get Bluestar to notice us. Our leader doesn't know what we can do! She doesn't know that I caught three thrushes and two rabbits yesterday. She doesn't know that Brightpaw helped Brackenfur fight off a badger last moon. She doesn't know that Thornpaw and Fernpaw climbed a tree and found a squirrel's nest full of prey. We're going to have to MAKE her see what we are capable of." announced Swiftpaw as soon as we were in the den. "You'd better not hurt Cloudtail." I mewed quickly. "Why would he do that?" Fernpaw shot me an angry glance. I returned it. "No, Bluestar would never make us warriors if we did that. We have to do something memorable and noble." Swiftpaw looked thoughtful. I was sure he was going to suggest killing Bramblepaw or something vicious like that. "Why don't we kill Tigerstar? She'd love us as if we were her own kits if we did that." Brightpaw suggested. "I can really imagine a few apprentices killing that monster." Fernpaw rolled her eyes. I felt Bramblepaw tense at my left, and Tawnypaw tensed at my right. "I know what to do. How about we find out what's stealing our prey?" Swiftpaw mewed slowly. "Count me out. Are you crazy? What happens if it turns out that a Twoleg monster is stealing our prey? Will you fight that off, huh?" Fernpaw challenged. "And what if it turns out that weak, helpless rogues are killing the prey? And we bring them to camp? Will she ignore that? I don't think so." Swiftpaw replied. "Count me out." Thornpaw and Fernpaw said in unison. "Don't do it!" I yowled at Brightpaw. "You'll never be warriors if you're caught." Bramblepaw added. "Are you seriously that mousebrained?" Tawnypaw asked sweetly. Brightpaw looked troubled, then certainty glowed in her eyes. "Well?" prompted Swiftpaw. "I'm in." Tension rising "I hope they're okay." I mewed for the millionth time. Bramblepaw looked just as worried as I felt. "Do you honestly hope that Swiftpaw is okay?" his sister padded up behind me. I leapt to my paws, startled. It would have been impossible to hear her over the roar of the river. "He's definitely mean-spirited, but he's not a traitor or a murderer. It's not as if he's going to end up in the Dark Forest. It's true that I'd give anything to cuff him hard, but he's still our Clanmate." Bramblepaw answered for me. I could see in his eyes that he didn't really mean it. "Huh. Give him half a chance, and he'd rip the fur off both of our backs. You ''know ''that, Bramblepaw. It's because of who our father was." Tawnypaw snorted. The three of us sat in silence for a while, watching the icy,clear water of the stream rushing in a never-ending flow. "Bramblepaw, I thought I told you to take a rabbit to the elders." Fireheart's voice was cold as the stream before us. I realized that the ginger warrior wasn't as faultless as I thought he was when I was a kit. No matter how hard Bramblepaw tried, he was forever put down because of Tigerstar. Fireheart was no outsider to the huge group of cats that didn't trust him for that reason. "I did, Fireheart. And I got rid of their ticks as well." the dark tabby replied. "That was quick." Fireheart frowned. "Patchpelt was sleeping and Dappletail told me not to disturb him." Bramblepaw explained. I could sense his frustration at the fact that he was constantly forced to earn trust, something that other apprentices were given automatically. "Tawnypaw, I'd like you to go and join the sunhigh patrol. Sandstorm's been looking for you..." "Fireheart! Fireheart!" a shrill wail interupted him mid-sentence. I recognised Fernpaw's scent, then saw the pale gray she-cat racing towards us. "Where is he?" Dustpelt was muttering, his frustration radiant. "What is it?" the deputy asked quickly, looking regretfully at the mouse between his paws that I hadn't noticed until that moment. "It's Swiftpaw and Brightpaw. I can't find them anywhere!" Fernpaw wailed. "They're probably just out exploring. There's no need to panic." Fireheart mewed calmly, but the apprentices present knew better. We had awoken to find the missing apprentices' scents stale, so they must have left before dawn. If they had not returned, then it meant danger for both of them. Swiftpaw was a bully, but he was really just an immature youngster who copied his mentor. Would he ever get the warrior name he craved so desperately? And then there was Brightpaw. Sweet, kind Brightpaw who stood up for Bramblepaw against her best friend, who cared for others so much that she often forgot to care for herself, who loved Cloudtail so much that her eyes glowed in the dark whenever she saw him... "There... there is a need. T...to panic. They... they wanted to sh...show Bluestar that th...they were worthy to be w...w...warriors. They... they went to f...find what was taking our p...prey." I stuttered, my blood running icy cold at the thought of their mangled bodies. The only thing that kept me from becoming hysterical was the hope that they were really still alive and safe. "Oh, Starclan." Dustpelt mewed quietly. "Did they say where they were going?" "No." I tried to keep my head clear. "Dustpelt and Tawnypaw, find Thornpaw, Whitestorm, Mousefur and Longtail and take them on a search patrol. Snowpaw and Bramblepaw, go and rest. You're both too shocked to do anything." he decided quickly. "I think Cloudtail will want to look for Brightpaw." I suggested quietly. Fireheart looked at me gratefully. "Oh, and Dustpelt? Get Cloudtail too." he called after the gray warrior. The fallen apprentice "Pack, pack. Kill, kill." Lostface repeated, her voice portraying urgency. I shuddered at the sight of her once-pretty, tortured face. One of her eyes was gone, and the remaining eye was glazed over, as if she was in a trance. "What does it mean, Brightpaw?" Cloudtail begged. His eyes were as tortured as Lostface's were. He must have really loved her, I realized sadly. That was why he refused to use Bluestar's cruel name for her. "Pack, pack! Kill, kill!" she whimpered again. Cinderpelt pushed herbs towards her, but she hissed at them like they were her enemies. "It wasn't a monster, or there would be straight marks." the medicine cat decided. To my surprise, she looked quite taken aback by all the blood, even though she was used to it. I realized that Brightpaw was her sister, even though they never showed any signs of kinship. "No cat could have done that. Anyway, there's no scent of any cat." Tawnypaw pointed out. She didn't seem too bothered by the sight of the apprentice. Maybe she really was just like her father, I thought sadly. "Talk to me, say something! Don't just stare at me." Cloudtail pleaded again, but the reply was the same as ever. "Pack, pack. Kill, kill." "Swiftpaw recovered quickly. He's out of your den already. We can ask him." Tawnypaw suggested. "Tawnypaw... Swiftpaw never made it here." She-cat trouble "You must be tired, Snowpaw. I know you're worried about Brightpaw, but you don't have to stay up all night looking after her. Why don't you get some rest?" Cloudtail suggested, but I saw a flicker of jealousy in his eyes. Warriors rarely had time to visit sick cats like apprentices can. "Don't worry, Cloudtail. She's all yours." I mewed, amused. Relief flooded his bright blue eyes. "Are you... sure you're only friends?" he double-checked. "Pretty sure." I teased, turning to go to the fresh-kill pile. On the way, a mottled tortoiseshell she-cat almost knocked me off my paws as she greeted me. "You know what you told Cloudtail... was it true?" she blinked. "Why doesn't anyone believe me? Of course it's true. StarClan, Tawnypaw. I thought you were meant to be the clever one." I rolled my eyes. "Well, you seem to prefer Lostface's company to... you know... other cats." she replied scornfully. "Um... hello? Brightpaw's face just got ripped off, for StarClan's sake! Doesn't she deserve a friend?" I couldn't believe Tawnypaw was making such a big fuss over something like this. Wasn't it perfectly understandable to be concerned about an injured clanmate? "They brought that on themselves, Snowpaw! You ''know ''they did. Lostface was just hungry for power, like Tigerstar. Even though I'm his daughter, I would ''never ''throw away my life just to get up to the next rank. If it had been me who went out to fight dogs, the whole Clan would be talking about how I was following in Tigerstar's pawsteps. But everyone's just fussing over poor Lostface. That's it, isn't it? You don't like me because I'm Tigerstar's daughter." she snapped, her eyes glowing with anger. "If that's what you want to believe, then fine." I stalked off. Bramblepaw called my name several times, but I ignored him. "She-cat trouble?" Brackenfur meowed, somewhat amused. He was chewing on a squirrel. "Yeah." I muttered, choosing a thrush from the meagre pile of fresh-kill. "Don't worry, it'll be okay eventually. Me and Sorreltail used to argue like Riverclan and Shadowclan, but now it's okay between us too." he reassured me. Not wanting to talk to my mentor about my messed-up love life, I dragged to thrush to the apprentice's den, where Bramblepaw was waiting for me. "What's wrong?" he noticed the depressed look in my eyes. I didn't reply. What was I meant to say? ''Hey Bramblepaw, I kinda like your sister but she hates me because I spent all of yesterday helping Brightpaw when I was meant to go hunting with you. "Okay, I already know. It's Tawnypaw, isn't it?" he admitted. I blinked. "How did you know?" "Who doesn't know, Snowpaw?" he purred. I glanced at the floor miserabley. "You know, she does like you. She was going to leave ThunderClan after the fire, but she didn't. Apparently she wasn't up for a cross-Clan love." Bramblepaw mewed. I was too upset to ask if he was joking. "I would've done the same for her." "By the way, don't think I haven't noticed that you haven't been eating well. You're so skinny." he poked my ribcage with a sheathed paw. He's teasing me, of course. I was the sturdiest apprentice in ThunderClan, and I can't really boast about leaving prey for the others. "Wow, Bramblepaw. You sound more like Speckletail every day." I teased, pawing him back. Before I knew it, he bowled me over and we started play-fighting in the dust like kits. Being bigger than him, I pinned him down easily. "Gerroff!" he mumbled through a mouth of dirt. I let him up. Tawnypaw pads into the den, but she doesn't talk to me. Her eyes shone brighter than stars, even though she wasn't happy. "When I'm leader, you'll be my deputy." I told him, although the plan had always been the other way round - I always thought of myself as his ''deputy. "If I said something like that, I'd be looked at like I was crowfood." Tawnypaw mews quietly. I ignore her because it's true. "...Snowpaw..." I heard someone say my name from outside the camp, and decided to find out who it is. Flicking my tail in the direction of the speaker to tell Bramblepaw where I was going, I padded out of the camp. To my surprise, it was Sandstorm. I waited for her to say something to me, but she just shoots me a puzzled look. "You said something about me?" I prompted her. "No, I wasn't." she mewed. "I heard you say my name!" I protested. "Oh... I was talking about... uh... a cat with a missing paw in ShadowClan. Tigerstar named him No-paw. We were just saying how cruel it was. Like Bluestar and Lostface." she said, but I could tell that she wasn't telling the truth. Fireheart, who sat next to her, nodded. "I'm not as stupid as you must be if you expect me to believe that!" I retorted furiously. "Don't you dare talk to me like that! Go and care for the elders now, do you hear me?" she snarled. Sighing, I obeyed her. A bitter blow "No! No!" I padded out of the elder's den to find Cloudtail wailing. Most of the Clan was assembled round something I couldn't see. "It's too late. She's gone." Cinderpelt's voice rang out loud and clear despite the muttering cats that swarmed the camp. I surged forwards to see who it was. It could have been anything that had happened. Had Lostface been attacked? Had Tawnypaw left the Clan? Had a stillborn kit been born? I had no idea. "Mother!" a high-pitched wailing almost deafened me. It was Fernpaw. Horrified, I realized that Brindleface must be... "Dead. Dead as can be. StarClan is killing my Clan!" Bluestar confirmed. "No!" I yowled, pushing forwards. I almost tripped over a cold, stiff body. A mottled gray she-cat stared at me blankly, her mouth twisted in a hideous grin. Screeching in horror, I buried my face in Tawnypaw's pelt. To my surprise, she didn't pull away. "Mother!" Cloudtail yowled again. His eyes were full of shock. "She's not your mother, kittypet." Darkstripe hissed, but Bluestar shot him an angry look. If looks could kill. Brindleface's eyes were still open, and glazed over. If looks could kill then most of ThunderClan would be looking a lot like her at the moment. I felt dizzy and sick. Not because of the blood or the death, but because of the fact that there was a cat alive that would willingly do this to another cat. "Go and lie down, Snowpaw. You look terrible." Cinderpelt announced, looking in my direction. Most of the Clan turned their gazes to me. Embarrassed, I shook my head. "Go on." Tawnypaw hissed. I fluffed my fur up with anger. "Why should I do as you say?" I demanded. Tawnypaw looked furious, but Fireheart's yowl cut our arguement short. We both fell silent. I still revered the deputy and longed to be like him, despite the fact he didn't trust Bramblepaw. "There's no need to argue. Snowpaw, go and lie down. Tawnypaw, go with him. Whitestorm, could you take a few cats out on a patrol to see what killed her? Remember to be back by sundown for Brindleface's vigil. Cloudtail and Fernpaw, go and get some rest. Dustpelt, could you go and help Cinderpelt..." the ginger warrior made rapid descions. Dizzy, I limped over to the apprentice's den. Cloudtail and Fernpaw padded slowly behind me, murmuring words of encouragement to each other. This had really bonded them. I could tell that Fernpaw was using Cloudtail to replace her real brother. I could also tell that Cloudtail could not care less. "You're not an apprentice any more, mousebrain." Tawnypaw snapped harshly at the white warrior. Without complaint, he changed direction. His eyes were dull. I saw a pretty ginger-and-white apprentice pressing her pelt against his as they slowly padded awaw; Brightpaw had obviously recovered from the worst of her shock. "Mother! Mother, where are you?" Fernpaw's plaintative mewling sounded. Not wanting to stay in such a miserable place, I pulled myself to my paws and padded into the night. It was cold; colder that I'd remembered. The temperature had dropped rapidly, and most cats had retreated to bed. Breathing in a mouthful of the freezing air, I relished the feeling of pain burning in my throat. It sounds crazy, but I wanted to distract myself from emotional pain by means of physical pain. My head was dizzy and swimming as I padded further into the camp. A few snowflakes were beginning to fall, and they lined my pelt perfectly. I think I must have tripped, because a few heartbeats later I found myself on the floor and soaked with blood. It was about then, as I bathed in the agony of the night, that I lost conciousness. No warning ''I padded across the snowy ground, breathing in the sweet night air. A single star shone in the sky, captivating me. '' Unsheathing my claws, I approached a towering elm tree and sunk my claws into the frustratingly smooth bark. Using all the strength in my body, I hauled myself a little higher up the tree, desperate ''to get a better look at the star. To my frustration, the wood remained gripless as ever. My paws flailed in the air in an attempt to stay off the ground, but I could already feel myself losing grip. With a yowl, I rushed through the air and landed with a thump on the hard Twoleg ground. Agony tore at my limbs as my snowy-white pelt was stained red with liquid. "No." I muttered, approaching the tree again. To my shock, I noticed a few more flaky bits of bark were starting to peel off the tree unaided. No cat was touching the tree but it was peeling. Why? "Snowpaw! Get back!" a horrified voice shrieked. This puzzled me, because I'd scented no other cats around here. "I'm not a kit." I snapped. Another terrified shriek sounded, although I could not tell what direction it came from. Whirling around, I was more than ready to scold the cat that was pulling me back from seeing the star, when a sharp pain in my neck made me wince. I felt my paws being lifted on the ground, and my eyes snapped shut tight as some unknown force pulled me into the air. Leaves brushed my pelt as the force dragged me above the tops of the trees. I then realized that the force was some kind of bird, hauling me to it's nest where I would be prey to it's bird-kits and friends. "Snowpaw! Open your eyes!" a familiar voice yowled. I did not, for I was afraid to see how high I was from safety, and how bad my death would be if the bird dropped me. "Please, Snowpaw. I love you. Open your eyes!" the voice screeched. I tentatively loosened one eye from being completely squeezed shut, my heart thudding. A tiny slit of light bore into my fearful eye. I couldn't smell the bird to clearly now. "Snowpaw, stay with me!" the voice became louder, and louder, and louder... "Snowpaw!" my eyes snapped open. A beautiful tortoiseshell she-cat was standing over me, her green gaze fixed on my blue one. "Wake up!" she screeched. Unsure what to do, I stumbled to my paws. My head was swimming dangerously. "Wha..." "Everyone's gone, you stupid tom. We have to go. We have to run!" the beautiful she-cat tugged at my fur. Flames of pain shot through my body. My fur was soaking wet, and stained a horrific shade of red. "Why..." "Snowpaw, run! I'll explain later." the tortoiseshell mewed. I dragged myself to my paws, but the weight of the pain dragged me down. The agony that shot through my body thickened from flames to a storm of lightning. Only The weight of the sky seemed to crush my head. Every step brought a lifetime of agony. Being hit by a dozen monsters would be paradise in contrast to this. Giving up, letting the blackness swallow me whole, dying... that was all I wanted. But somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I could not give up. For the beautiful tortoiseshell she-cat here and the dark tabby tom that befriended me back in the nursery. "Where is everyone?" my voice came out as a whimper as I crawled over to the middle of camp. It was sickeningly bare. What had happened to me? Before I went to sleep, I was fine. But now, it was worse than torture. "Just come to Sunningrocks. You can make it!" she called, racing effortlessley from the camp. "Come back!" I rasped. An exasperated sigh followed a quick return. "The Clan's been evacuated. I'll explain it all later!" she mewed, her green eyes blazing with frustration. Determination gripped my belly like claws. I couldn't let her down. I couldn't let ThunderClan down. Now matter how much it hurt. "But... if everyone else has been evacuated, then why are we here?" I mewed, my legs finally collapsing. The she-cat pressed by my side, helping me along. "It's a long story. So go! Go, you mousebrained idiot. You want to live, don't you?" she hurtled away again. I dragged myself over to my paws again, trying not to concentrate on the searing pain. One paw slowly made it's way forwards. Agony. Fire. Heat. Pain. Torture. Another paw tentatively followed it. Agitation. Pain. Horror. The first paw pushed itself forwards again. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Another paw. Pain. Pain. Pure and simple. Pain. Where did this all come from? Where was the pain coming from? Why wouldn't it go away? "The Sandy Hollow." I croaked, realizing that I was half-way there. I'd have to go through all that agony again. The green-eyed she-cat yowled a warning, but I couldn't go faster. "Snowpaw!" an amber-eyed dark tabby shot with the speed of a WindClan cat towards me. I knew that he was important, and that he was a good cat. But no name came to me. "Are you here to make the pain go away?" I whispered. The tabby and the tortoiseshell exchanged glanced. "Snowpaw, it's me. Remember me? Bramblepaw?" he murmured. I gave a wail of pain in response. The she-cat hissed at us both. "Help me get him to Sunningrocks!" she yowled. A strong, reliable paws slipped under my belly, holding me up. Awkward and afraid, the two of us limped a little further. The welcome sound of rushing water was birdsong to my ears. "There!" a group of shivering, frightened cats stared at us in shock. Bramblepaw's paw left my belly as I dragged myself to join them. "He's... alive?" "How did he get here?" murmurs of disbelief followed my appearance. Relief engulfing me, I staggered towards them and collapsed onto the scorching rock. The Confession "Snowpaw, I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell you everything." a sad mew pulled me from my sleep. I opened one eye drearily. Great, I thought miserably. Now I'm somewhere else. It seemed that whenever I closed my eyes, some cat felt the need to drag me away. I was still clueless about what had happened the day before, only that a beautiful tortoiseshell she-cat and a tomcat named Bramblepaw had made me go through agony to reach a pile of rocks. As my mind awakened, I began to realize where I was. This was the medicine cat's den, judging from the reek of herbs. And the cat that had spoken... that was Cinderpelt, the medicine cat. "Don't bother dragging it out. Tell me quickly." my speech was slurred and difficult to understand. A familiar speckled she-cat watched me intently, and I could sense her panic. Her eyes were amber, but the exact shape of mine. We must have been kin. By the den entrance stood flame-coloured warrior. His forest-green eyes shone with grief, and I saw that misery reflected in the burning yellow eyes of a big white tom beside him. I noticed a similar, smaller white tom by his die. "Speckletail... Whitestorm... Fireheart... Cloudtail... Cinderpelt..." memories flooded me as my past life came back to me. "It's Fire''star'', now." Speckletail scolded. "So Bluestar's dead?" I guessed. Fireheart - or should I say, Firestar - nodded gravely. "Snowpaw, listen." "Tell me quickly!" "Snowpaw, it's not how you think it was..." Cloudtail called. I hissed at him, not wanting apologies for something I didn't know had happened. "Snowpaw, listen..." Cinderpelt urged. I snapped at her. "Tell me!" "Is he okay? Is this a symptom? Will he get better?" the speckled she-cat fretted, not moving from her spot as she watched me. The fluffy gray medicine cat muttered something that I couldn't quite catch. "I'm sorry, youngster. None of us could have expected..." Whitestorm tried to push forwards to talk to me. The flame-coloured warrior by his side followed him. A few more cats streamed into the den. I overheard some grim tom asking if I was alright, and some frantic she-cat screeching about how she shoul have known better. "How long are you going to keep this from me?" I growled, struggling to keep calm. The cats in the den fell silent, and glanced at each other. "Who's going to tell him?" Cloudtail mewed after a long silence. "I will." "No, I should." "Let me." Cats squabbled, and the noise grew back. My heart burned with exasperation. If only I was stronger, I'd yowl till they all fell quiet and some cat told me the story of what had happened to me. If only I was stronger. "Everyone, leave the den. Bramblepaw, Cinderpelt and myself will deal with this." Firestar commanded. Still chattering loudly, the Clan padded away. I gave a tiny sigh of relief. At last, maybe some cat was going to tell me the truth. "Snowpaw, when you were sleeping, a pack of dogs got into the camp." Cinderpelt began. I nodded. "We tried to lead them over the gorge, Snowpaw. I swear it by StarClan." Firestar broke in. "Are you going to let me tell the story or not?" Cinderpelt snapped, then turned back to me. "Fireheart... I mean, Firestar... organised some patrols to lead them over the gorge, but you were sick. We think several cats in the Clan caught Greencough last night. Firestar had to let them stay at camp. We think... I mean...we know they caught it off you, because the symptoms were weakest in you. The dogs knew it would be easier to... eat the sick. So they came into camp. Most of the Clan escaped." I stared in horror at her. The Clan... caught it off me? This was my fault. Dread seized my heart like icy claws. Who had I killed? The worst moment of tenstion in my life was right then. Waiting to find out who had died because of me. "Willowpelt... Willowpelt and Dappletail died in the night, It wasn't your fault. It was no cat's fault." "But they caught it off me!" I whispered. "You only caught it because you were cold. It wasn't your fault. Anyway... the Clan was so sick, it was hard to get every cat out. We had to vote on one cat to leave behind." I knew what was coming, but that didn't mean I didn't dread it. "The Clan voted on leaving you behind. They thought that you would rather die than live as a murderer, and that there was no chance that you'd survive anyway. And... I won't lie to you, Snowpaw. Some cats thought it served you right." well, those cats were more that correct then, Cinderpelt. "But.... Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw helped me out. Did they get left behind too?" I rasped. Cinderpelt glanced at the floor. "Snowpaw, they weren't Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw. They were Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw's spirits." Eliplogue Six moons have passed since the day I found out that my two best friends in the world are dead. According to Goldenflower, Tawnypaw died of Greencough during the night and Bramblepaw died after helping me to Suningrocks. Cinderpelt says that the cold would have numbed it, and that they wouldn't have felt anything. It would have been like falling asleep. I don't believe a word of it. Should I ramble on about the pain of losing them? The sleepless nights? Refusing to eat? That would be pointless. Instead, I'll tell you how I came to be. Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw haven't visited me in my sleep, or sent me any visions. Cinderpelt says it's not surprising, since StarClan cats aren't allowed to visit cats unless they are medicine cats or leaders. I don't believe a word of it. My warrior name is Snowclaw. Not that any cat cares. Well, Squirrelflight cares a lot. She was the cat that cheered at my warrior ceremony. The only cat. I don't love her and she knows it. But she loves me a lot. She must have been the cat that persuaded Firestar to make me deputy, because I know that no other cat in the Clan would willingly go near me. Even Whitestorm, whose life I saved at the BloodClan battle. Not that I care. Half of me still lives in the past with Tawnypaw and Bramblepaw. The other half is already dead. I do care about our kits, though. There were five, but one died of Greencough. When that happened, I knew that StarClan was mocking me. But I had to stay strong for the four that survived. The first-born was Flamekit, a dark ginger she-cat, who is just like Squirrelflight's mother, down to the way their muscles ripple as they walk. But it is her willowy, beautiful coat that makes her beautiful. So much like Willowpelt's coat that it haunts me. Then there are those three inseparable kits- Lionkit, Jaykit and Hollykit. I'd die for any of them anyday. Jaykit is blind. Fighting for what every cat takes for granted. I guess he's a bit like Bramblepaw was when he was so desperate not to be judged for what he couldn't help. Lionkit will be a great fighter, like Bramblepaw was too. Hollykit... she's a beauty, a lot like Dappletail used to be. Lastly, there's Morningkit. She's white, like me, but that's not what makes her special. Her eyes are glittering green, just like Tawnypaw's were. I see Tawnypaw in her every day, sometimes so much that it scares me. Sometimes, at night, I feel alone. When I think about how Willowpelt and Dappletail died because I was too careless to stay warm, I hurt inside. When I think of how beautiful Tawnypaw was, and how much I loved her, and how I never got to tell her that I cared... it hurts. When I think about how Bramblepaw and Tawnypaw both died because of me, I want to die. But in my kits, I see something that keeps me going, and it's not just the cats that were killed on that fateful day. In my kits, I see hope. Category:Melodybird's fanfics